Home Automation and Gardening

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by Lisa

Something like 20 years ago, I tried to grow a plumeria flower in my apartment. I had a broad-spectrum light, plenty of heat, and plenty of humidity. But getting the light turned on and off at the right times wasn’t easy (especially if I was at work all day!).

This seems like a really good use for home automation — our home automation system tracks the sunrise and sunset times for our zip code. It’s possible to essentially cron “stuff” off of these times — e.g. get the birds ten minutes before sunset. I could easily track sunrise and sunset in Honolulu then have my light turn on at sunrise (or first light) and off at sunset (or last light). Voila — “sunlight” that runs for the proper duration every day.

Nothing like a fish

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by Lisa

I had an older friend explain why he was absolutely certain his wife and he were going to have a long, happy marriage (they’d been married for a few decades by this point, so he wasn’t speculating). They went on vacation to a small town to get married and honeymoon. Small enough town that the wedding license department and fishing license department (as well as all of the other government functions) were in the same place. Dude wanted to get a fishing license, so he offered to go get both. Shows up and gets his fishing license. Then asks about the wedding license. Government dude says the wedding license dude is on vacation today. Come back tomorrow. My friend asked if government dude could do it. Nope, cannot do it. Friend asked what if his girlfriend looked like a fish, was that close enough? They laughed, and government dude said both people need to be here anyway … so come back tomorrow, and bring her. We’ll get you sorted.

He goes back to their hotel, tells her they both need to be there, and that license dude wont be in the office until tomorrow. The next day, they head back. Dude and his girlfriend walk into the office, and government dude looks at them and says ‘you are wrong, she looks nothing like a fish!”. Future wife says “how about now” and makes her best fish face. They all laugh.

He told me there’s nothing wrong with not wanting your spouse to make fun of your face. And there’s nothing wrong with joking around either. The problem is when the two people aren’t on the same page. They could still make it work, but the jokey partner is going to go through life having to curb their immediate impulse to turn something into a joke. Or the other partner is going through life being humiliated by someone who is supposed to love and support them.

Squid Custom Error

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by Lisa

We’ve been having a challenge with Anya getting her school work completed. Part of the problem is the school’s own fault — they provide a site where kids are encouraged to read, but don’t provide any way to ensure this reading is done after classwork has been completed. But, even if that site didn’t exist … the Internet has all sorts of fun ways you can find to waste some time.

So her computer now routes through my proxy server. I’d set up a squid server so *I* could use the Internet unfettered whilst VPN’d in to work. It’s really annoying to get told you’re a naughty hacker every time you want to see some code example on StackOverflow!

While I didn’t really care about the default messages for my use (nor did I actually block anything for it to matter), I want Anya to be able to differentiate between “technical problem” the site didn’t load and “you are not allowed to be using this site now” the site didn’t load. So I customized the Squid error message for access denied. This can quickly be done by editing /usr/share/squid/errors/en-us/ERR_ACCESS_DENIED (you’ll need to make a backup of your version & may need to replace the file when upgrading squid in the future).

 

Foodsaver Expandable Bags — Usage Trick

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by Lisa

I ordered the Foodsaver expandable bags to freeze our turkey. They’re serious about the extra space at the end of the bag so you can get the pleats back together; but, even following their instructions, this is almost a three person operation!

I came up with a trick — once you get a side pleated, use binder clips to hold the side together (I used two clips). Then get the other side tucked and use binder clips to hold it in place. Now that it’s all held together, slide the clips to ensure you have enough plastic to fit into the vacuum sealer. Seal it up. And again. I moved the plastic out a bit and double-sealed another line. And a third … because it would really suck to ruin a huge bag of food like this!

Turkey Injection Sauce

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by Lisa

I got this injection sauce from a Bearded Butcher video — it’s a maple/butter based sauce that we used with a smoked turkey. Delicious!

Ingredients

  • 1 cup unsalted butter
  • 1 cup maple syrup
  • 1-2 tbsp … well, they use their seasoning. I used this Magic Dust that looked good

Melt the butter, whisk in the maple syrup, then whisk in the powdered seasoning. Inject it, baste it on, etc. It thickens up as it sits, and I needed to toss the container in the microwave for 30 seconds a couple of times while I used it.

We soaked the fresh turkey in brine (about 2 lbs of salt in 2 gal of cold water) after butchering it — 3AM on Thursday through about 4PM on Saturday — injected it with the butter/maple sauce, then smoked it for hours until it was cooked.

Magic Dust BBQ Seasoning

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by Lisa

This is based on a recipe from Mike Mills — who owned a BBQ joint in Illinois — that I used with the turkey injection sauce.

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup paprika
  • 1/4 cup salt
  • 1/4 cup maple sugar
  • 2 tbsp ground mustard seed
  • 1/4 c chili powder
  • 2 tbsp ground black pepper
  • ground hot pepper flakes to taste — about 1 Tbsp for me

I ground the mustard seed and black peppers in the mortar. My maple sugar had some hard lumps, so I tossed the mustard, pepper, and maple sugar into the mortar and broke up the chunks. Then I threw everything else in and ground it around a bit.

To ensure the whole spices were well ground, I passed the mixture through a flour sieve and returned anything that didn’t pass through the screen to the mortar to be ground again.

In the end, I had a nice powder (although it’s kind of salty!)

Another Pumpkin Pie

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by Lisa

We grew a lot of pumpkins this year, so I was able to use fresh, homegrown pumpkin for the pie!

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups pumpkin puree (really, really smooth — blender it a lot, push it through a screen to pull out fibers. I also let it sit in the fridge for a few days and dumped off the water that separated out)
  • 3 eggs
  • 1/3 cup maple sugar
  • 1 Tbsp cornstarch
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 2 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1/2+ tsp ginger
  • 1/4+ tsp nutmeg
  • 1/8 tsp cloves
  • 1/8 tsp black pepper
  • 1 cup heavy whipping cream
  • 1/4 cup almond milk

Stir all of the stuff together — it should form a smooth custard. Bake at 375F for about an hour. I used my walnut pie crust (but with almonds instead of walnuts), so I had the crust covered for the entire baking time.

Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

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by Lisa

I didn’t use this recipe for Thanksgiving this year, but it’s another one I keep meaning to write down online so I’m not digging out an old e-mail to myself!

Ingredients:

  • 3 Tbsp unsalted butter (room temp)
  • 1 c cream cheese (room temp)
  • 1/4 c maple syrup
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp lemon juice

Using the stand mixer and whipping attachment — beat butter and cream cheese together until smooth and creamy.

Add in maple, vanilla, salt, and lemon. Beat for about 5 more minutes.

Walnut Cookie Crust

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by Lisa
  • 1.5 cup pulverized walnut pieces (also works well with almonds)
  • 1 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1/4t sea salt
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 2T sugar
  • 2 egg whites (or one whole egg)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Put walnuts into a food processor and pulverize – not just powdered, some 1/8″ pieces should remain.

Measure 1.5 cups of pulverized walnuts. Combine with flour, salt, and sugar.

Melt butter. Using a fork, cut the melted butter into the dry ingredients. Add egg whites and cut together until evenly moist.

Press dough to the bottom of a pie or tart plate (can be lined with parchment – makes removing the pie a LOT easier). Cook for 15 minutes. Crust should be crunchy and brown.